January 2009
6 posts
3 tags
I’m not destined for happy endings.
Why can’t you see me?
I’ve been here many times before, and I’m definitely not the first. And yet for some reason I feel like I’m stepping on untouched soil.
Tredding water… It’s like I don’t know how to swim anymore. With my head just above water I can still breath, but the level is rising and I’m running out of oxygen. There’s poison in these veins and I can feel the suffocation setting...
5 tags
(Nothing)
My about me’s should really consist of something like “I like smoking weed and having sex all night long”, but lately I’ve had none of either and it sucks ass.
Beach times and laying lazy in the sun, smoking cigarettes while only running on yesterdays coffee and an over-active mind. This summer’s been peachy so far, and it’s only going to get better…
2 tags
You’re a hailstorm of self loathing and misery,
and I’m just a girl.
The last of my entries have been all doom and gloom, but now I’ve turned a more positive leaf in my life.. hopefully.
I’ve realised that things don’t necessarily happen for a reason, but when they do you have two choices; wallow in self pity and loathing or learn from the situation, grow.
I really don’t know what I want anymore, I thought I did.. but things don’t always...
2 tags
A cunt hair away from nude…
My mother and I have become like passing trains in this house. During the week she cooks, cleans and does her ‘Mum’ business during the day and goes to bed when the sun goes down while I sleep in till 4pm and smoke at the doorstep before procrastinating, only to stay up all night blogging, painting and lurking myspace. Our weekends are spent out getting too drunk to stand and then stumbling home...
4 tags
It’s cold and my lungs are freezing, and if I...
“Disce quasi semper victurus, Vive quasi cras moriturus.” (Learn as if you were going to live forever,live as if you were going to die tomorrow)
I read this quote in a book of poems written by singer/songwriter Otep Shamaya the other night, and it really got to me. I’ve been thinking alot about my life and what I want to do when I grow up. My life is really weird, and kind of annoying at the...
3 tags
Sometimes the only thing I think I’m good at, is...
Do not push me, I am not okay.
I have too much to say and not a strong enough vocabulary to say it all.
Tearing through old journals in search for something that I don’t even know really existed in the first place is not a good idea. Once again, it comes down to this; I have far too much pride to pour what I really mean on the internet…